This post is in memory of the lost babies in our lives. The last two weeks have brought this painfully sad and difficult subject into our lives again. We just lost a niece who was only 30 weeks. Today, I was able to see a picture of her tininess and perfection. So, if you are one of those who has lost a baby, this is for you.
First, these little ones count. They are people and more importantly they are your children no matter how little when they died. Even if you don’t feel like it, you are their mother no matter what. How many times have you been pregnant? Then that’s how many children you have.
We tend to only count the living children. Shame on us. And, I include myself in this, because I do it too. Usually, it’s just easier and less painful if I don’t have to explain. The last time I really talked about this to another lady, I cried. Even though I thought I could tell her without bawling, I couldn’t. In our own minds and hearts, we need to count them. We need to say – I have 5, not 3. I have 3 not 1. I have 4, not 1. I have 4 not 0. I have 9 not 8. Count them ladies.
Next, they are your children. You should name them. When you name them, it helps make their existence real. It also makes it easier to talk about them. Even if you don’t know weather you have a boy or girl. Name them. I have a friend who named one of hers, Kiwi. I have also heard names like, Courage. So, if you have never named them. DO IT.
Their missing presence doesn’t go away any more than it does when we lose any other family member. It’s hard. Not just for us, but for father’s, and for siblings, too. It bothers my husband, quite possibly more than it does me. Allow yourselves the chance to grieve, all of you.
God gave you these children for however little time that was. You are a mother to their eternal souls.
Peder would be 10.
In memory of…